Jealousy

I am not a jealous person, really, not at all. I actually hate the green-eyed monster! I believe everyone has their life and God has their plan it is the way it is suppose to be. I am truly happy for the blessings God has provided for each and every one of us. We all have our blessings in one way or the other and the grass is not always greener on the other side.

Saying that, I am very envious of the people who are married and live over here. Many of the people I know and blogs I read are written by married couples experiencing all life has to offer over here together. I hear of the places they hang out, the challenges they endure 'together', the things they do with other couples, the 'couple friends' they have made, the places they go, etc.

This blog is a place I express my feelings (the good, the bad, and the ugly). It is my blog so I can say what I want, right?!! Maybe I just need some sympathy today, who knows. I do not mean to offend anyone who is married, really, that is not my intention. I promise. I just want to say how INCREDIBLY difficult it is living over here alone.

Did I know that going into this? Yep.

Did I realize just how difficult it was going to be? Probably.

Do I like it? Not all the time.

Nothing here is easy for us singletons. All of the challenges that come with living in another country, I endure and handle on my own....just me...no one is there is help, to discuss with, to bounce off ideas with, to cook for me, to run errands for me, to shop for me, etc. Just me....I do it all. Many people have expressed just how strong this experience has made me. "Tough as nails", they say. Ok, maybe so, but that does not mean I like it all the time!

Would I rather have someone here to help out? You better believe it.

This experience has made me realize just how independent I am and how much I can do on my own. I have more patience than I ever realized imaginable. I am strong, I am independent, I can handle most things put in front of me...but sometimes you just want a little help...someone who understands, someone to go through this with you. You know, 98.9% of the time, I am perfectly happy and content in my world as a singleton living in Brussels. Really, I am stating the truth. But, that 1.1% seems to creep up on me sometimes!

I have made life-long friends over here who are my rock (and they ALL happen to be out of town right now, which is probably the reason for my mood). However, sometimes you just want to say to someone, "Please take care of this for me, I am just tired."

Excuse me.....I just had an "ah ha" moment. It JUST hit me - God is the person I should be saying all of this to. He is the one that takes care of it all for me. I do not need a friend or husband to take care of me when I have Him. I suppose it took me typing this to remember that.

Do I realize this is the way God wanted me to experience this opportunity in my life? Absolutely.

I know He has a plan for me and I know if I am meant to be with someone, then He knows the timing for me and I just have to be patient. But, oh it is hard!

I am done ranting now. I am going to pray!

Note: After I went back and read what I typed, I started to delete this entirely. I really do not want to offend anyone. However, there maybe people out there (single or married) that have these same thoughts. They need to know they always have someone to turn to. He is God, our Heavenly Father. We are NEVER alone. It took me typing this to remember that. I hope someone out there in the blog-world who has these same feelings will believe and remember that too!